I killed a chicken last week. I went down to Payson to
Brent's chicken farm, and he showed me how to kill a chicken, and then I did it.
I took pictures and I'm going to tell you about my experience.
But really, this post may not be for you.
So if it's not, check back tomorrow for a safe, death-free post about community gardens.
I've written before about
Brent's chickens. They look as well cared for as a huge group of chickens can look. They're big and clean, and make the noises that happy chickens make.
So that's good.
He has mostly laying hens, but raises other kinds of birds, including birds for meat.
Meat chickens grow really fast. They put on a lot of weight and can be very hefty birds. He sold me a twelve pound chicken about a month ago, and it was a beast.
So, the first thing you have to do when you want to kill a chicken is catch one.
Brent has a whole system for knowing which chickens are ready to be harvested and which ones need more time.
They have colored bands on their legs that let him know how old they are, and since birds go through different feather cycles, he tries to be aware of what state their feathers are in.
There is a window of opportunity, between sets of feathers, when a chicken is significantly easier to pluck.
I just happened to be there during this two week window, and I experienced the difference.
Brent really knows his chickens.
The next step is to carry your chicken out to the chopping block and cut off its head.
This part is not easy.
The knife was super sharp, but I'm not all that strong. I'm thinking I'm not going to go into too much detail here because it got pretty graphic.
But I will say there was a sense of acceptance, and then of accomplishment, and then gratitude.
As the chickens were being caught, I thought about what I was about to do, and I, in typical form, started to cry. It's not all that difficult to make me cry, and watching these hens being rounded up was a little much for me.
But as I geared up to take a life, I accepted the fact that I participate in this act on a regular basis whether I like it or not - I eat meat. I eat it at least once a week, sometimes more.
Sometimes a lot more.
Every time I cook chicken legs or make a turkey sandwich or grill a hamburger, I am participating in this very act, only I'm removed from the consequences. When I pull a bag of chicken from the freezer, I don't have to see rich red blood or touch guts or watch something go from being alive to not being alive. But that's exactly what happens every time I eat meat - something has to die.
And so, I killed a chicken. I didn't cry when I did it, by the way.
I didn't cry because I had somehow managed to accept what I was doing, and recognize it as significant.
And then I felt immediately like I had accomplished something important. I took no pleasure (and I mean absolutely none) in taking a life, but for the first time ever I was present when the food that I would eventually eat moved from life to death for me.
While Brent walked me through the process of harvesting the chickens, I felt like I was tapping into something much older and larger than me. Remember the
cave paintings? People have been performing this act, and celebrating it, and ritualizing it for a long time. And now I see why.
The single, quick act of killing the chicken only took a few seconds, and when it happened I felt a huge sense of gratitude. I was thankful for that chicken.
I don't usually feel gratitude when my meat comes from the freezer.
And then there was a lot of work to do.
You hang the chickens by a string and let them bleed for a while.
Then you boil a huge pot of water and dip them in the water and count to twenty.
That's what Brent said.
He learned how to harvest chickens from his grandfather, and while he walked me through the steps, I recognized that he was not just doing work. He was performing a type of age-old ritual, the kind that pass between generations, that is taught by stories and hands-on experience.
It was full of prescribed steps and ordered procedures.
After dipping the chicken in the boiling water and counting to twenty, you remove the wing feathers. Then you dip it again and remove the rest of the feathers.
A chicken has hair, which most people don't know. I didn't know, until I bought the twelve pound beast from him last month.
It had long, ugly hairs on it, and I honestly didn't know what to do.
It has nothing to do with the quality of his chickens, and everything to do with how he processes them.
Industrial chicken processing includes vats of formaldehyde and a variety of other unsavory and even dangerous chemical procedures to remove the feathers and hair. That's why your chicken is all white and smooth.
Brent showed me how to remove the hair without formaldehyde.
You take a newspaper and wrap it a certain way and light it with a match. You wave the fire over the carcass of the bird, making sure to not overheat any one area. He prefers this method because the newspaper doesn't burn very hot, and he doesn't want to start cooking his bird too early.
I couldn't help feeling like I was participating in some kind of religious ritual as I ran burning paper across the chicken's skin. We were silent as we performed this cleansing ritual.
The next step is to remove all the feet and then the innards.
You cut one slit behind the knee cap, and then one in between the knee and the leg, and then pull to remove the legs.
Next, a slit is made at the base of the tail so that the waste can drain out.
Then you cut a larger hold, reach in, and pull everything out.
As each organ was removed, I examined it and asked about it, wanting to understand better how everything inside this chicken had worked together only minutes before to make it walk around and cluck and eat and remain alive. I don't know what I was expecting, but the inside of the chicken was really warm.
Brent doesn't choose to save the innards for food, and since I don't really know how to prepare them (or any desire to know how to cook a delicious chicken heart or liver), we put it all in a bag. I'm not sure what he does with them. I wish I hadn't forgotten to ask.
Once the inside of the bird is clean, you place the whole thing in a bucket and rinse it with cold water. The bird is still really warm from when it was alive, and needs to be cooled down as soon as possible so that it doesn't develop salmonella.
Then you let it drip dry for a few seconds, place it in a zip lock bag, and put it in the freezer.
I asked him how he prefers to eat chicken, and he says his favorite thing is to roast it with onions and apples stuffed inside.
The way we eat is governed quite rigidly by traditions and rules we've learned over the years.
This is as it should be.
But there are equally important and timeless rules governing how the food is grown, raised, harvested, and prepared. Most of the time-honored traditions have stuck around for a reason: they're important. They're the best way to do things.
I was really glad to have seen and experienced these tradiations first-hand.
After all of this, I will tell you that I absolutely hated killing that chicken. Yes I felt grateful, and I felt like I had accomplished something important, and yes it was a sort of land mark for me.
But I hated it.
I'm not sure if I will stop eating meat, but I certainly have a better sense of what goes into that delicious sandwich.
And I will not take it for granted.